We are wrapping up our first season of the Truths & Promises podcast and it's been a beautiful journey! Just like any journey, we are taking a rest stop to look back at the amazing episodes and guests we've had so far. Check out and share highlights from some of our favorite episodes: Ep 7: F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Method Pt3 | Ep10: From the Walters' Couch w/the Moores | Ep12: Faith Journey w/Shirley Moore | Ep13: Faith Journey w/Obioma Enyinnaya.
Join us as we dive back into some favorites and leave a comment below on your favorite episode so far! ⬇️
Visit our Podcast page to listen online, Google Podcast Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.
Show Notes:
F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Method: Bloom Where You're Planted: Finding Your Purpose - To read more, click here.
From the Walters' Couch w/The Moores:
Get Connected with Ramel & Shirley Moore
Journey Story with Shirley Moore:
Get Connected with Shirley Moore
Journey Story with Obioma Enyinnaya:
Stay Connected with Obioma
Get Caught Up with Truths & Promises: What's Up with Lent?
Rest Stop: Season 1 Recap - Transcription
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Hey, ya'll, and welcome to the last Rest Stop of season one of the Truths and Promises podcast. If you've heard Rest Stop number one, then you know how much I love Rest Stops. Rest Stops are simply a recap of where we've been on our Truth and Promises journey. So without further ado, let's get into this Rest Stop. But real quick, before we do that, I should mention, because I know y'all are wondering because you probably miss me and I, of course, missed you. Season two of the Truths and Promises podcast is coming back at ya in April. So get ready. It's right around the corner. And it is going to be a really, really, really good one more of what you're about to hear during this rest stop.
So the first step on our Rest Stop is going back to F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Installment number three. For those of you who don't know prior to starting this podcast, I used to moonlight as a productivity coach. During that time, yeah, I, it was a fun time. I made some good money. I met some really cool people. I did some really fun Instagram Lives and Reels and all that good stuff.
But I have since moved on from that. But during that time, God downloaded a lot of really good cool, useful things, including the F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Method, which is a three part series on the podcast from season one, go back and listen to it. Also the R.E.A.D.Y. Goals which I touch on in this clip that you're about to hear.
And some of my favorite, the ready, set, aim, fire method. The ready, set, aim, fire method was straight from God. And I will say it's the one sure-fire way to make things happen, which is the "M" in the F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Method. So hint, hint, but let's go ahead and get into the clip from this episode, because I think it's real good.
F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Method Pt 3
S.M.A.R.T. Goals are rigid, and that might work for some goals that we have, and that might work for some people, but for me, my R.E.A.D.Y. Goals are the best goals there are.
Okay. And R.E.A.D.Y. Goals aren't just the only piece of optimizing. Okay. When I was thinking about goal-setting, I started thinking about how you get ready, aim, fire, or you have ready, set, go. And then I started thinking, well, sometimes when we approach our goals, we mean sort of two different steps in the middle we need ready, right. So our R.E.A.D.Y. Goals are set. This clarifies the priorities that we have. And then we need set. This gives us time to align our time with our goals. Okay. How you invest your time yearly, monthly, weekly, daily. Says a lot about how you value your time, your energy, and ultimately. Yourself. So what's the point of setting goals if you don't make the time to achieve them monthly.
So when we go back to the "M" in the F.R.E.E.D.O.M. Method, a part of that is making sure, of course, it means making it happen, which means making sure that those goals we have aligned with the time that we have. Right. So putting those goals, introducing those goals to our calendars, to our planners, to make sure that they happen. And then the next pieces of that ready, set, aim, fire - are to aim, to try it out, to test it out, to see what might work. Sometimes when you aim, you know, you start to point towards the target, you realize you're too high, so you have to bring it down, realize you're too low. So you've got to move it up.
I went to a gun range recently and realized if I squint at one, I looked like I was pointing right at the target. If I squinted the other, it looks like I was way off the target. So it takes time to aim. Right? I think sometimes we get ready. We set things onto our calendar, and we say, all right, it's the new year.
Let's go, go, go, go, go. Fire. But we haven't really taken time to aim. And when you take time to aim, that gives you a greater chance of actually hitting your target.
So, I feel like I could dive more into this, right. And I probably will within the Own Your Journey group if folks are interested, but there are different productivity types. There are different ways that you can do quarterly, monthly, weekly, and even daily planning. So if folks say they're interested. I'm happy to dive deeper, but I do want to keep this podcast installment short, so I will leave it at saying set your R.E.A.D.Y. Goals. Okay, then set those R.E.A.D.Y. Goals onto your calendar, and then take the time to aim. Really find out how you should move, where you should move, and some of that aiming really comes with prayer. Let's just be real. It's like, God, should I go in this direction? I know this is the goal. This is the endpoint, but how do I get there? So you want to take the time to test it out, see what might work, feel out the waters a little bit. A lot of that is going to come through prayer.
There was a scripture that I wrote down that I really love. In Providers 16 and 3, it says, "Commit your ways to the Lord, whatever you're doing, committed to the Lord, and he will establish your plans." So we can make plans all day long. The scripture says many are the plans of a man's heart, but only God's purpose prevails.
What does that mean? One, you need to build from heaven down and not from the ground up because at the end of the day, God is going to have His way. So you want to make sure you're aligned with His way. And then that also means that we need to learn to do just, sort of commit those desires to the Lord, commit what we're doing to God and say, God, have your way order my steps, establish my steps, direct my path so that I know which way to aim. Get my aim right, God. Right. So as I gave my example of wanting to learn more about the home-owning process and being a homeowner, this means that I have this goal in mind. I've got a calendar that I know my lease renews here. I will have the money that I need saved here, and I can do X, Y, or Z with my credit score here and here.
Right. All of those things are laid out. So what should I do, fire, fire, fire? No, I'm going to take a moment to aim and say, God, order my steps, show me the neighborhood I should purchase in. Give me a vision of what that house should look like. You know, I want the details. I want the goods. I want to know how I should be going about this.
So, in this new year. I want you all to think. R.E.A.D.Y., set, aim, fire. Okay. Don't R.E.A.D.Y. and fire. Don't just walk into the new year, fire, fire, fire. I want you to R.E.A.D.Y., set those goals, make it very clear about who you want to be. I want you to set them on your calendar so that you know when you're achieving them, how you're doing it, and then I want you to aim.
Remember, those goals should be yielding goals. That's the "Y" in R.E.A.D.Y. Which means that as you aim and God directs your path, perhaps some of those goals change in one way or another. Perhaps the date you set them on is not the date that it's going to happen. I found out, you know, I wanted to purchase a home sooner rather than later. I found out the market might be better a little bit later.
So what are we going to do? We're going to wait and let God order our steps. And then when that time comes after you've already said it, you've gotten your aim right, then it's time to fire. Which is execute, execute, execute. And when you want to make these goals happen, when you want to make freedom happen in your life, remember you can't do it on your own.
From The Walters's Couch w/The Moores
Next up on our Rest Stop is From The Walters's Couch and this time we're coming to you from the Walters's couch with our marriage counselors, pastors, sister, and brother, really good friends, Pastor Mel and Shirley Moore. And I have to say that this conversation was transparent, it was real, and it was all true. Okay. And it was a good reminder of what marriage is supposed to look like, what God really has destined it to look like. This episode is a clip from actually a two-part series from the Walters's couch. Both of the episodes are nothing but fire. Take a listen and then go back and listen to the whole thing again, because there is so much goody goodness in that episode.
Shekinah: Yeah. I remember one of our first marriage counseling sessions with y'all once we moved here to Minneapolis, and I think it was Pastor Mel saying to me, like, you're not going to be the perfect wife. Just go ahead and let that go. Because I think at that time I was like, I've got to cook, I've got to clean, I've got to take care of the dog. I've got to do my actual work. I've got to run this ministry. And like, there were just so many pieces and so much pressure I was putting on myself that I had to learn to have grace with myself and then let go of those fantasy ideas that I had about who I would be as a wife. And I had to just kind of take a step back and learn who I was as a wife. And I'm still doing that, but, you know, just kind of letting go. And that also took some like, sort of grieving who I thought I would be this identity I had made up in my head. But it's a real process that you go through early on in marriage, for sure.
Ramel: You know, it's so funny how we decide that we're going to be the perfect spouse, although we've never been a spouse. You don't even know what; you don't even know what you're talking about. And here is what's crazy. A long time ago, when we first got married, I was trying to be the perfect husband, and you know what God told me, he said, don't be the perfect husband, be the perfect piece of clay.
And I just went when he, it set me free. It literally, it literally gave me freedom just to be on the wheel. And let him mold me into what he wants me to be, and it'll be perfect for her. And that's really what it's all about. Right? It's just being the perfect piece of clay within a marriage. And not only that, you're not going to have a perfect marriage, but make sure your marriage is a perfect piece of clay.
Keep your marriage on the wheel. Don't just keep yourself on the wheel; keep your marriage on the wheel. Right. And what we do is this, we get frustrated at our spouses, and we take them off the wheel, and we try to mold them into what we want them to be. And God told me you are trying to mold my, my woman, into what her to be for you.
Shirley: You're coming into my business, telling my people to want to do
Ramel: Yo, crazy. Yo, that's exactly what he said to me. He said, put her back on the wheel and mind your business. That's what he said to me. Put her back on the wheel and mind your business because here's the deal. My job is to pray. My job is not to shape her. What have I bought somebody into this world? When have I done that?
And created a human being by myself whenever I had done that? So I just gotta be mindful of that. And I think people gotta be,
Shirley: We did make Jordan just so you know.
Shekinah: But not by yourself.
Ramel: You didn't do it by yourself. And I didn't; I didn't do it by myself. Alright. So you gotta, you gotta be real quick to catch your joke.
Shirley: Thank you.
Justin: Oh, that's awesome that you guys are saying that because you know Shekinah and me when we went back to Florida for Thanksgiving. We met with one of her friends and was just talking about marriage and, you know, just through the conversations, one of the things we started talking about is like, when you become married, it's like, you're reborn again. You know, it's like, in a way, you're coming up. I'm no longer Justin, the single Justin. Shekinah is no longer the single Shekinah; we are Shekinah and Justin Walters, you know, and that's a whole new person. That's a whole life. On a whole new way of thinking, just a whole new way of moving and adjusting to life.
So it was like, you're not, you're just, you're not the same person. You will never be the same person, you're completely different, and you have to understand that and be willing to go through the journey of being different and understand that that will not be perfect. And, you know, and that will, sometimes it will hurt, you know, not physically, but mentally and emotionally, you know, and it'll be ups and downs, but like, you know, that's how greatness is formed.
Yeah. You know, and we talk about, I think on the first from the Walters' couch episode, we talked about how it takes people years to find their own individual identity, decades to find your own individual identity and coming into marriage and thinking you're going to find your identity immediately on the day you get married. It's just so unrealistic, but I don't even think people recognize that it is a whole new identity, and it's not just you by yourself. That's changing. It's you as a unit that is becoming a family.
Shirley: I struggled with that. When my son was born, I struggled with that because here I was, trying to be a stay-at-home mom.
Right. And so we were a year, a couple of months into our marriage when our son was born, and we, I mean, You know, I call it postpartum depression. Cause I literally, I think I cried the first nine months. I could not believe what my life was becoming. And I remember I was sitting in the living room with Jordan one morning, and we were watching TD Jakes Church on TV and And TD Jakes preached on the depression.
And he talked about how depression is you holding onto the past and not letting it go. And it doesn't allow you to be in the present. And I realized, I realized that I was hanging on to who I was, and I wasn't enjoying where I was. Right. And we do that. I did that with, you know, when my son was born, but I think we do that even in our marriages, you see people like, oh, he's still goes clubbing, or she still does this, or she still does that because there's like this need to preserve what existed rather than allowing yourself to mold and to be molded and evolve into what is, what is going to exist or what needs to exist. And that the greatest thing that is really easy for us to miss is that we have a purpose. You know, God, if we're still breathing, we have a purpose, which means there's still destiny that God is trying to pull out of us and to have us walk into.
And if we continue to hold onto the past, we will never be able to walk to the future, to the destiny that he has created for us.
Ramel: Amen. Our minds are, so our minds are so warped and so funny because we try to be the perfect spouse, but we'll never be the perfect person. So like there are no perfect people.
So why would you ever think that you could be a perfect spouse when you're not even a perfect person or you'll never be a perfect person? And I just think that it's super important again to renew your mind. You know, renew your mind, change those old ideas and those old unlearn, some things, right.
Faith Story w/Shirley Moore
And because we just can't get enough of Shirley and all of her beautiful vulnerability. We invited her right back to share her journey of faith story with us. Take a listen to her 1140 glory testimony.
Shirley Moore: Like I remember when I was praying for my son. I remember when I was praying for my husband. We just celebrated 12 years. We're about to celebrate my son's 11th birthday. I remember when I had a job making $14 an hour, and now my bill is at a hundred and something dollars. And I was like, you know what I mean?
Like I remember when I was praying for this. And so, I don't take it lightly. At all. I just don't let the storms at this level require a level of faith that stretches my wildest imaginations of who God is. It really does.
Shekinah: Yeah. I like that. The storms at this level stretches your faith. No, that is really good.
And I, I think, you know, a lot about the 1140 story, which you are very familiar with as you were at, I think our second 1140 conference in Delray Beach and, you know, I think there was a lot of faith stretching that happened in the wilderness and on this 1140 journey. Just as a reminder to our listeners, this 1140 that we're referring to refers to the 11 days, it should have taken the Israelites to make it out of bondage into their promised land and by going through the wilderness that they were in. And I think there's just so much meaning behind the 1140 story, in 1140 glory as a whole, and I'm wondering how that story might resonate and the meaning behind that story might resonate with you and your journey that you've been on. Whether it's been this year or across your whole lifetime.
Shirley Moore: Man, you know, It's interesting that you asked that question because number one, just a couple of days ago.
So before I was a Christian, I was a lesbian, and I abused substances, and I was just worldly, like beyond worldly. Right. But I remembered a couple of days ago, my husband comes to me, and he's like, yeah, how did you know you weren't a lesbian anymore? And I was almost like taken back by his question. Like what?
Shekinah: 12 years later...
Shirley Moore: I was like journaling, and he comes in the room just randomly, like, just ask the question, and for a moment, I couldn't even answer him because for me that was a suddenly, you know, I was not like, I know that there are people that are on wilderness journeys, trying to break free from homosexuality. Right. But that's not my story. My step for me, that was a suddenly it was something that was just gone one day. Right. And I find myself in, in this year, just thinking of like, Lord, why couldn't all of this, be a suddenly. Why did these things have to take a whole year? You know, for me, for some folks, 2020 was such a challenge for me. It was pretty amazing. I'm very introverted. I love to be in at home. Only the people that I loved came into my space, and that was amazing.
Shekinah: Like me and Justin.
Shirley Moore: Pretty much. So, I mean, I like, I just, it was a great year.
My business quadrupled, my family was healthy. It was a great, great year. So I never expected 2021. I never, it came in like it came in like a wrecking ball.
It just came out of left field, you know, and I just kept asking God. Well, not asking him, but just telling him like, Lord, I don't want this to be 40 years. Please let this be my 11-day journey. Don't let me stay here. You know, during this year, I lost a great friend to mental health issues, to issues that I never even knew existed.
And there's like, there's more to the story. Right. But I lost my cousin within a few days of that happening. And my cousin was the last person in her family. So her brother was killed like 30 years ago. My best friend, who was her sister, passed away 12 years ago, her mom passed away three years ago, and now Aida died this year.
And like that whole generation was wiped out, and it was like the biggest, it was the biggest hit to me, you know, because they were gone, like they were our family and they were gone. All of them. They were just all gone. And so. There were so many things happening. Then I just kept saying, Lord, I don't want to come out of this 20 years from now.
I don't want to live in this like funk that debilitates me, that ruins my health, that kills my mental health, that, you know, that that creates fear or anxiety, because truly like the one that devil's at work he's at work forever. He wants to destroy. Right. And so. I did not want to be destroyed. I did not want to be destroyed.
And that's just what I kept confessing. I will not be in this journey for the next 40 years. This is my 11-day walk.